Family of Adoption - Joyce Maguire Pavao

I have read a few articles and bits of information about open adoption trying to get a feel for what it is. Most of the experience we’ve had with adoption is more closed. This is the first book I’ve read cover to cover about openness in adoption and it has been the most beneficial in painting a good picture of what it can be. It gave great evidence to convince me of the importance of open adoption not only for the adopted child, but for the birthmom as well. Open adoption is the best choice and there is no set way for it to work. It is a process that is ever changing. The child, the most important factor in adoption, is kept as the center focus of the whole process. Their well being and happiness is the motivator for all decisions and for all those involved; birth family, adoptive family, extended family, teachers.

I especially appreciated the chapters on the different stages of life and the different issues that may arise at each of the different stages. The stories were helpful to give real life examples, but not only what may happen but also what to do to help them through the different stages. Being an adoptee is very complex and there is no one way they should grieve or process all the different aspects of their life, but they do need to be surrounded by those who are educated. I am grateful for the knowledge and insight it has given me and have passed it on to extended family so that we may all be educated for the benefit of our loved family member.

Favorite Quotes – “Adoption is not an event. Adoption is not a snapshot in time. It is a moving picture that goes on through this life and into the ones that follow.” “Adoption is not about finding children for families, but about finding families for children.” “ The greatest gift that one can give children is to tell them their truths, especially when they are complicated and harsh.”

We are excited about the prospect of providing this history and connection for our adopted child. We want to provide the best life for them and we know that we will do anything we can to achieve this. Open adoption is just one of those important things we can do.

My views and ideas about adoption are constantly growing and maturing to a point I didn’t even know existed. It is so much more than I thought it would be and this book only makes me more excited for it.